1987 Buick Regal Turbo T

Which is worse when you’re a pessimist—bring proven right or being proven wrong? Turns out Regal owner/driver Dave Gray and your author have something in common. Both of our moms bought Buicks in the mid-to-late ’80s, but this is where the similarity ends.

Against my recommendation, my mom bought a new strippo ’85 Grand Prix, wimpy 3.8L V-6, cream and blue and ash (from her cigarettes), the limp noodle suspension, and skinny 14-inch whitewalls. She liked it fine (and what’s not to like when your previous rides were a straight-six ’79 Granada and a ’73 Super Beetle?) except in the wet. She didn’t like the braking or the traction when the rains came down—which was all the time. Mom blamed this ill-handling on the fact that the car was rear-wheel drive. As a senior in high school when this nonsense was going on (’87-’88), I argued that fatter wheels (at least 15x7s) and 215-width tires with a decent tread pattern would make things more stable—and maybe a softer foot on the brakes around town would help, too. It ain’t easy stopping 3,600 pounds in the rain when your tires are as thin as pencil leads.

In a move that defies my logic circuits to this day, my folks traded in the GP and bought a $15,000 ’88 Regal, rather than spend $350 on new rims and rubber. Had I been asked, I could have told her that buying a first-year car is a risky proposition, especially one from a company plagued by as many quality woes as GM was in the ’80s. Two days out of the dealership, she received six recall notices. Things went downhill from there, and I felt better for all the wrong reasons. A scant half-dozen years later, the 2.8L V-6 made an oil-and-antifreeze milkshake. Mom’s now very happy with her Jetta.

In 1987, Mrs. Gray was in the market for something new and wisely sought out her son’s expert advice, since he knew a thing or two about cars and kept up on such matters. She wanted trunk space, something with some oomph, and something that got decent gas mileage. What would he suggest? A Buick Regal T-type is what—something slightly more interesting than the Taurus wagon his mom had been considering. Dave knew what blistering Q-ships these Bufords were, and it just happened to satisfy all of mom’s criteria. We’ll let Dave pick it up from here.

“My hope for a test drive was nearly crushed when we discovered the local dealership had no turbo Regals in stock. The sales manager offered a drive in his demo car, a Grand National. I figured my mother would take one look at the Darth Vader paint and run in the other direction. To my surprise, she agreed to drive it. After we returned, I expected her to hand over the keys and head to the Ford dealer. To my surprise, she asked the salesman, ‘Can I get one in white?’ I about fell on the floor. She ordered the car that day.” Needless to say, Mrs. Gray—clearly a bright, open-minded woman—allowed her knowledgeable, enthusiastic son to have a say on the option sheet as well. She managed just fine with her 15-inch rubber and rear-drive in Michigan ice and snow for seven solid years. What a nice story. What an interesting change of pace for your author to know that a son’s knowledge and opinions are worthy and valid.

But it doesn’t end there. Dave offered to buy it from his mom when she was through with it—and seven years later (in 1995), the Turbo T was his. From there, madness commenced. First came paint—Dave chose a hue similar to that offered on the ’88 Pontiac Grand Prix, in order to stand out from the faceless hordes of black-and-white Buicks at turbo drag-race events around the Midwest. A turbo here, crank the wick up a bit, a rebuilt 200-4R there, a bolt-in manual S-10 steering box… deeply under the influence of the folks at Modern Musclecar of Roseville, Michigan, Dave was running 11.30s without even taking off the valve covers. With the new heads/cam/computer combination, he’s in the 10.70s at 124 mph… untuned. And this in a car that’s driven to the office three days a week (on these tires, no less) and soundly thrashed on the weekends.

And what does Mrs. Gray think of all this? “She hasn’t gone for a ride in a while, but she gets a kick out of it, and she’s pleased that it’s being kept up. She’s excited it’s going to be in Hot Rod .” As are we. Rock on, Mom. As for me, I can’t wait to see what happens when the Jetta craps out.